Imagination November

Imagination

Forgive My Ignorance

— Sichen, Li (Felix)

Is it possible that we shall never find the perfect person for us to share the rest of our lives; instead, living out our lives with people we have no tacit idea with?

Pete Bacchus, a mathematics lecturer at the University of Warwick in England, once published an intriguing paper, "Why Can’t I Find a Girlfriend". The professor said that with seven billion people on the planet, the probability of us finding the perfect couple is only 0.00034%.

Perhaps, sir. But I presume that was banter.

Our life is not short yet not long; not long enough to gleefully fall into the embrace of love completely and utterly. What we are looking for is never an immaculate soul of another version of us. Often, if you trace the story of an old couple back to the very beginning, what is written in the preface may be nothing more than eye contact.

Your numbers are quintessentially precise, whereas our brains aren’t. Humans are not rational animals. Isn’t it, sir?

With the eye contact that sweeps me out off my feet, I lapse into the reverie of our future. The left brain falls in unconscious ecstasy, with the right brain tells me:

That’s the girl, shut the hell to those odds. That’s the girl.

This is where most stories began. If everything goes well, we will end up together. Apparently, 0.00034% is an improbable event in probability, and naturally, my beloved girl and I would not be an immaculate match. I have my flaws and she is not really an angel. I must admit that you are correct on this point, and your calculations are accurate.

Our lives will certainly not be smooth and differences are inevitable.

My grandparents were such a couple. Every day on the smallest and most trivial matters would start the day's arguments. Without exception, such conflicts have continued for sixty years. They have nothing in common, nor simple romantic in life. My grandfather didn't even know what his wife's favorite color was, and my grandmother didn't have the habit of greeting my grandfather before leaving the house.

It's just that the cup of hot tea every morning has also been quietly appearing in such a way for sixty years.

Sir, perhaps they are just trying to make things easier and get along with many regrets, so what? If their life is a book, then it would be compiled of a lifetime with each day as a brand new chapter, and the whole half of life of one will be spent with another half. I don’t there is any way to get through sixty years of chapters, even with “perseverance.”

Having nothing in common is the least reason I can imagine loving you. Just like my grandpa. He won’t take my grandma’s hand tightly; he won’t behold my grandma with undivided attention; their hearts, however, are undeniably connected.

They are complementing each other, so they change themselves to fit. They cannot glibly express love, so they say by behaving.

Sir, I think you would meet a girl of serendipity who seeps romanticism into your heart by the time you saw her. You will possibly run into her and the first page of your story will begin with a courteous apology. Until the day, you take her hand, put on the scintillating ring.

You might say “hell to those odds. I love you.”

Shadow

By Fanyu, Sun (Freya)

“You better watch it carefully”! The haughty guy with that funny but neat mustache was our instructor. Every Monday, we would hear this awfully long speech for an hour before any class begins.

“Those shadows look the same right? That’s because you morons are the same. Scores, the honorable standard, is the only thing that differentiates you from here”. That’s true, those students with high scores were sitting in classrooms with air conditioners opened. We, the moron as he called, were standing back to the sun, staring at the shadows of us that we could hardly distinguish ourselves among them. This was what the government called a “healthy chastise”. I had been here for 2 years, yet I still didn’t understand what was it for. The scorching back continued to burn and the forcible whip slapped all feeble morons.

“Thwack”! The whip was awake. The crisp sound was just like the raindrop hitting the solid ground in thousand miles above, whereas it didn’t follow with a painful roar. Every time the “healthy chastise” finished, the infirmary was always fraught with roaring. Thankfully that Frank and I were used to it. Otherwise, the long waiting line would cause tardiness for the class which would incur more bruises on the skin. By the way, Frank was my best friend, and he was amazing. He created numerous things with objects that I would never use in my whole life. He used some glasses to dilate things, sometimes we could even see each other from hundred meters away. Using chemicals and flowers to make those heady fragrances, Frank surprised us every day. Although those things might be common outside of our school, a stupid student-log forbade all new things from us.

As the vice-president of F-League, of course, Frank was the president, we all had a clear determination of what to do. This league was compiled with students with a failed grade on their transcript. We created this league, not because of our indolence or ignorance. Au contraire, most of us were really talented. Take Cathy as an example, she wrote a poem about love in her final exam in which the topic was free, and she failed that subject in the reason of “harboring evil intentions”. Others were having an F because of the violation of certain school rules. Although I don’t understand why Tyler was here, the word “over effeminate” in his log-entry was still confusing. As I mentioned, we all know what was our determinations. In fact, there wasn’t a determination at all. The school was asking for higher scores and courteous behavior in their own standard. We failed in their standard, yet we created our own standard. The school tower had twelve floors and our secret gathering spot was on the rooftop. We barely discussed school works, basically because none of us cared about it. Sometimes we would hear Cathy’s poem, sometimes we would chat about how ridiculous the school rules were, sometimes we just stared at the sunset and watched the sky of fire submerging in night’s calm. Our parents didn’t care much about the F grade. It seems like they already knew our morons' identities so that they stopped caring for us, which was fine, we hoped not to be noticed.

There was something interesting that actually Frank was an A student in our school. However, he created the F-League. I could only presume that his relationship with Tyler was abnormally and romantically bonded. Although they never told us about their relationship, we all had a consensus among us.

Our school was located near the suburban district, which made our days colder when the special festival came. When New Year was coming, we were locked in the school and waited for our unit tests. We overlooked the distant city on the rooftop. Those neon lights were so far away that we could barely see anything. Tyler signed and complained, “I used to set fireworks when I was young, but…” We all had the same feeling. The school forbade everything around us, including those simple pleasures like a firework. All of the sudden, Frank jumped up and said “let’s make one”.

“What”? Although I knew what was he saying, I couldn’t help to ask one more time. “But those things…” I left an awkward silence for five seconds. Frank replied, “who cares about school-log, we are the F-League right”? Everyone’s confidence seemed to be boosted. For the rest of the week, we made a precise plan. The old chain and rusty lock couldn’t stop us from entering the road to succeed. With a straightened paper clip, we could easily unlock the laboratory and took away the black powder. We wore like ninjas and passed through the bushes behind the dorm. All other components like luminescence reagents and explosive chemicals were all well-preserved. Although the school was searching the entire campus for those chemicals, they didn’t know that we had a secrete gathering spot, that’s where we kept them.

We picked Christmas Eve as our ignition time. We gathered on the rooftop at 10 p.m. all chemicals had combined into a huge bag with a string on top. We stood several meters away, and Frank used the flint to light a fire on a wooden stick, the dark roof has been luminous with subtle orange light. He carefully pointed the fire to the tip of the string. The string has been ignited, gradually shorten. Frank moved backward and stands beside us. I could clearly see his limpid eye reflected the dreamy night sky. With the string vanished, the fire directly shot out of the bag. Tyler’s jaw almost dropped to the ground. Those fires came one after another as if they had practiced several times. The shape changed all the time and flamboyant colors illuminated the stars into dazzling colors. We, the F-League, stood under the sky, raised our heads proudly, embraced by blithe. Some students popped their heads out. Some appreciated the firework with enthusiasm, but some only dared to watch for a few seconds and quickly hid their faces behind the curtain.

The whole campus had been lighted. Apparently, this time we had made big trouble. The next day, Frank didn’t attend school. Tyler, Cathy, and I were wondering if he was sick until we found him in the top instructor’s office. When we walked past the door, Frank noticed us. He raised a finger and put it on his mouth to imply us not to say anything and with an OK sign to cease our nerves. We didn’t say. For the following days of the week, I never saw him again, to be more specific, I never saw him for my whole life. The closest distance that I could reach was the announcement on the bulletin board of his expulsion.

“This is ridiculous”! Tyler yelled, “why the expulsion”?

Clearly, Frank helped us to get rid of this guilt. Though the anger burned in our chests, we still obeyed the school rule. Everything seemed to be normal and regular again until…

“Wake up”! It’s Cathy. I was sleeping on the rooftop, and her voice penetrated directly into my head.

“For the god sake, what do you want”? I rubbed my listless eyes. But as soon as I saw the newspaper that Cathy gave to me, I was awake, even more, I was shocked and there was an indescribable feeling seeped into my heart. The newspaper was reporting an obituary that a young boy who fell over the balcony last night. We all knew who was him.

Tyler told us what happened after the expulsion of Frank. I had always heard that his relationship with his parents wasn’t well, but I never had any clue of his suffer and great panic. His parents were disappointed and imprisoned him in his bedroom. Frank sent some letters to Tyler by throwing those letters off the balcony to the postman quietly. However, he wanted to escape this place. The curtain wasn’t stable, and Frank fell off from the second floor. We couldn’t imagine the pain he suffered while he thought he could run away but he didn’t. Those instructors, school, parents deprived our freedom and what we love. Some students also saw the news. I didn’t know what they think because the school burned the newspaper as soon as they found out it was Frank.

I stood up, and all of the sudden I realized what my determination was. Another Monday came. “You better watch it carefully! Those shadows look the same right? That’s because you morons are the same”. Not until the speech finished, I turned around. When everyone was staring at their shadow and standing back to the sun, I faced it. I face the sun. Tyler and Cathy immediately followed me. When the instructor stood in astonishment, some other students also followed, yet some only lower their heads to the shadow. No matter how the instructor yelled and whipped, we stayed still. Although the sun was bright and unpleasant, it’s still prettier than the shadow. A day came when we began to cease from lowering our head: the day we saw hope.

Observer

By Xinyi, Fan (Vincent)

Life, it’s glorious but danger, in the life along with time opportunities will bring the risks moving to you face, smart and strong people will bite the risk and take away the treasure. It just likes an epic, talking about your own story, in the story, we will kill the monsters and gain the adultness. It just likes a ship trip on the sea, we are our own captain bring the ship pass again and again sea wave to find the New World for ourself. Everyone’s life is different but similar, each hero or captain have their own ways to solve problems, either I.

Disappointed and painful

Remember, it is the first summer when I came back to China from California. Because the two years of my chaotic pace of life, and the horrible attitude of study, my parents decided pausing my America studying abroad plan and bring me back to China. When I came back, I can’t took the deal of my life huge change from comfortable, rich, back to stringent and poor. During that time, I felt disappointed for the future, felt painful for the change of my life. Everyday life like live for the sake of living lost my dream for the life, all same like a zombie. At that time, my dad gave me a suggest, he suggested that I find a store in the mall, or a sit in the park, looking the people pass away, and thinking what kind of people do I want to be? I took this advice and started my trip for find the goal of my life.

First day, I choice a mall near to my home, and ordered a cup of coffee. I started observation the bustling stream of people. I watched their emotions, their steps, and their eyes. They walked busy like every minute is their money, if they walked slowly, they might lose money. They wear different emotions, some of them were restless, some of them were anxious, and some of them were stable. But they had the same sight, that was hopeful, that was the anticipation of the future. Everything I saw on their body like a hammer shelled on my soul. I was so confused about that, and started complain my family. I thought, if my fake friend didn’t bring me in the hell, I would have same state like them. If I had a brother, my parents might not affect my life so much. If my family had more money can afford me consume, they would not call me back. Thousands of this kinds of minds fulled in my mind. My soul started scream to complain the unfair of the nature not put me in a good family. I started feeling disappointed and painful that my family not that perfect in the world.

Introspection and Comprehend

In the second day, I choice a park, to do my observation. In the park, the visitors were composed by families and some old people. The families may take their baby close to the nature or enjoy the landscapes in the park. The old people may come to take exercise to make their body healthy. In the parents and children’s face I saw happiness and enjoyment. In the old people’s face, I saw peaceful and reminiscence. In their eyes I saw satisfaction with their reality of life. The wind of the summer was hot but gentle seem they were comforting me, the grass and tree around me full of vigor seem they were telling me not lost the hope of the life. At that time, I thought I’ve figured something out, that was a kind of feeling, it was a strange but indescribable feeling. I stated ask myself.

“Did I manage my life in America well?”

“No.”

“Did I go there for study but not play?”

“No, I played two years.”

“Did I reach the goal that I promised with my parents?”

“No, I make them disappointed.”

In my mind those kinds of questions and answer appeared again and again. At that moment, I feel guilty and shame. My parents worked so hard to send me in to other country to study, but I used very bad way to respond them.

Awakening and Rebirth

In the last day, I choice a riverside. I watched the water go downstream, the channel is curve, but it can’t stop the water. I saw the rock under the river they are hard and heavy, but also can’t stop the river. River used itself want to tell me something, and I understand. It told me, life is like a super long river, each part of them passes different terrain, they may pass the hill, they may pass the plain, the road of river is very hard to walk, they use them self to scour a way, at end the river flow into the sea. In the river every part of them has their own work which is send the water to the next part. They may meet difficult, but they have to continue. It is like our life, in every part of it may meet difficult, but we have to moving forward. Doing the work that our part should do. It’s our responsibility. When I understand this truth, a feeling of transparency ran through me. It like the light dispels darkness, dawn thaws the ice in the heart and mind. No one can really describe what it’s the feeling of grow up, either I. But at that moment, I feel like a new man. I know, I grow up.

In to the Darkness

Wentao, Deng (Dylan)

“What is it? You look annoyed.”

“Nothing, just tired.”

“Well, then get some rest. Don’t be too hard on yourself. I’m almost late so I’ll get going. Bye!”

The door slammed shut, and Regina was all by herself again. Fell back on her bed, she lay still like a breathless corpse. Staring at the ceiling, his disturbing image kept emerging on its white surface. Such a handsome countenance, the face that made her fall for him at the first sight.

She couldn’t help but think about him, the days that they’d spent together. The days when she would simply stare at his perfect countenance whenever she could; the days when she would grab any chance to talk to him, waiting for hours for a brief “hello” in the morning; the days when she would not miss a single one of his basketball matches, watching his silhouette melt in the rays of dusk. He was the key to her heart, where she buried all her sentiments, her past.

Memories of him drowned her like a flood. She was the desperate child, trying all she could to hang on to her reasons, yet it was of no avail. She simply sank deeper within the abyss of her own sentiments, the boundless darkness that once fallen, there would be no way out. His smiles, the kind that could make her eyes gaze straight into his without blinking; the kind that could turn the color of the gloomy sky shining with golden rays straight from heaven; the kind that could make any smiles from any other boy lose its hue and dignity; the kind that could melt her heart. His voice would be the most harmonious sound ever created, and whenever he spoke, she had to hold her breath in order to not lose any word of it; his laughter was also very appealing, for no matter how depressed she was the previous second, it could always bring her back to happiness. He seemed so bright and vigorous, forever energetic, ready to embrace everything in the world. silent, yet iridescent.

It was the best day of her life. None of that he knew, and probably none of that he cared, yet for her, those moments were the brightest light that had ever shone upon her. He was her candlelight in the dark, guiding her every step, towards hope, towards her future.

But none of that seemed to matter anymore. Her beacon had collapsed, along with her hope, leaving only a pile of dust. After that night, she would lose him forever. The night of the truth, of despair.

Of her failure.

Darkness closed upon her, like walls of a cage. Exhausted, she turned and buried her head in the pillow. She should have known when she saw them wandering around the field when she found them having lunch together when she would wait the whole night and receive no message from him. Yet she refused to believe in the bloody truth that fell upon her and kept fooling herself like an ostrich burying her head deep down in sand until the moment of revelation. The moment they announced their union, she felt struck by a lightning bolt. But what could she have done? She was a nobody, to him, to the world.

Tears silently slipped down her face. All those years, in vain, she felt as if something fractured deep down inside. No longer could she feel any pain, for the grief was too great to be felt.

Unspecified Failure

By Yihan, Wang (Flora)

Failure is inevitable, through all creaks and cracks of life

Bad grades galore

The café is so poor

Too tired, sleep more